Post by Sprague Dawley on Nov 7, 2013 10:23:54 GMT 9
Food mislabeling scandal apology
---TOKYO---
Chief Cabinet Secretary Yoshihide Suga has apologized to a packed press conference over the widening scandal involving food mislabeling practices, a problem which now appears to be endemic to all reaches and levels of Japan's food industry.
"I sincerely apologize for all Japan high-class restaurant
using recycle toilet vomit in their authentic India curry
import that is not import from India."
"'I am sorry that giant sea prawn from Bali is actually fat-injected
squashed worm scraped up from gravel of Fukushima carpark. So sorry."
"I am so sorry Kobe beef was actually half-skinned cat found
on mean streets of Chiba."
"I am so sorry we got fucking CAUGHT. It will NOT happen
again. So sorry."
"By the way, I am so sorry Kobe beef was actually not half-skinned
cat found on mean streets of Chiba but instead was half-blind Aborigine
who fell out of a crate from Woolongong. So sorry."
"So sorry but giant wedding cake at lavish Ritz Hotel Gala
function was not made with fresh cream but instead made
with wet bog roll retrieved from Fukushima Port-A-Loo. So sorry."
"I am sorry that freshly squeezed California orange juice
was in fact gnat's piss topped up with occasional staff urine
lunchtime pee pee extract. Fucking staff!"
"I apologize for gorgeous French dessert crepes being made out
of old abandoned tampons found in Chiba warehouse. So sorry."
"I am so sorry about crepe's red cranberry jam being made
out of moldy old virgin menstrual cycle rags. Oopsy."
"So sorry about me inspecting my own cock during this
apology. So sorry."
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---TOKYO---
Chief Cabinet Secretary Yoshihide Suga has apologized to a packed press conference over the widening scandal involving food mislabeling practices, a problem which now appears to be endemic to all reaches and levels of Japan's food industry.
"I sincerely apologize for all Japan high-class restaurant
using recycle toilet vomit in their authentic India curry
import that is not import from India."
"'I am sorry that giant sea prawn from Bali is actually fat-injected
squashed worm scraped up from gravel of Fukushima carpark. So sorry."
"I am so sorry Kobe beef was actually half-skinned cat found
on mean streets of Chiba."
"I am so sorry we got fucking CAUGHT. It will NOT happen
again. So sorry."
"By the way, I am so sorry Kobe beef was actually not half-skinned
cat found on mean streets of Chiba but instead was half-blind Aborigine
who fell out of a crate from Woolongong. So sorry."
"So sorry but giant wedding cake at lavish Ritz Hotel Gala
function was not made with fresh cream but instead made
with wet bog roll retrieved from Fukushima Port-A-Loo. So sorry."
"I am sorry that freshly squeezed California orange juice
was in fact gnat's piss topped up with occasional staff urine
lunchtime pee pee extract. Fucking staff!"
"I apologize for gorgeous French dessert crepes being made out
of old abandoned tampons found in Chiba warehouse. So sorry."
"I am so sorry about crepe's red cranberry jam being made
out of moldy old virgin menstrual cycle rags. Oopsy."
"So sorry about me inspecting my own cock during this
apology. So sorry."
[/b][/font]