Post by Sprague Dawley on Oct 22, 2016 8:27:52 GMT 9
Ominous Tide Behaviour In Auckland Harbour
--NZ Herald—
Viaductoligists have reported that the tide has withdrawn “rather ominously” from Auckland Harbour which is "a definite precursor for tsunami activity" according to volunteer vulcanologist Dr Trevor Gunston.
With New Zealand set to face Australia in a Bledisloe Cup test this weekend, seasoned observers believe the outgoing tide could only be the symptom of an upcoming “tsunami of Phil Kearns tears”.
The Tears of Phil Kearns, seen visibly welling on the horizon.
Parliament’s Minister Of-Not-Giving-It-To-The-Backs, the RT. Hon Sir Colin Meads (MBE, OBE) has weighed in on the subject advising all New Zealanders to “sprint outside immediately once the tsunami arrives as The Tears of Phil Kearns contain life-sustaining properties for all New Zealanders. Bathe in the tears, wallow in them, raise your palms skywards and squint to the heavens as the tears energise your life force, rejoice in the tears, water the plants with them, rub them all over your nads, your mum’s nads, the dog’s nads, fuckin spray them all over the place for fucks sake, praise the Lord and pass the ammunition, God is on our side, man the torpedo's, pass the speedo's, das boot, das boot.”
--NZ Herald—
Viaductoligists have reported that the tide has withdrawn “rather ominously” from Auckland Harbour which is "a definite precursor for tsunami activity" according to volunteer vulcanologist Dr Trevor Gunston.
With New Zealand set to face Australia in a Bledisloe Cup test this weekend, seasoned observers believe the outgoing tide could only be the symptom of an upcoming “tsunami of Phil Kearns tears”.
The Tears of Phil Kearns, seen visibly welling on the horizon.
Parliament’s Minister Of-Not-Giving-It-To-The-Backs, the RT. Hon Sir Colin Meads (MBE, OBE) has weighed in on the subject advising all New Zealanders to “sprint outside immediately once the tsunami arrives as The Tears of Phil Kearns contain life-sustaining properties for all New Zealanders. Bathe in the tears, wallow in them, raise your palms skywards and squint to the heavens as the tears energise your life force, rejoice in the tears, water the plants with them, rub them all over your nads, your mum’s nads, the dog’s nads, fuckin spray them all over the place for fucks sake, praise the Lord and pass the ammunition, God is on our side, man the torpedo's, pass the speedo's, das boot, das boot.”