Post by Sprague Dawley on Dec 22, 2016 10:09:11 GMT 9
Gene Gunston Web Blog Entry #37.
Gidday fellers!
Gene-o here.
I was bored shitless at the zoo last month so while no bastard was looking,
I smashed a wee hole in the "WORLDS MOST DANGEROUS SPIDERS" exhibit,
filled up me big fuckin' jar then toodled off and dumped the contents in some pricks
garden here in Wollongong! Poor bastard! Hahahaha. I am a funny prick at times.
Anyway, let's take a look at what that poor bastard has in store for him.
"The Blackbacked CockPincer."
Fully 3-feet long and named as such after
his habit of strangling whole chickens.
Or at least I hope so! Haha.
"The Evangelion Of Certain Death."
Looks deceptively big in this photo. It's only really 9 inches long. He only
comes out at night too so the prick in Wollongong can rest easy during the day.
"The Bung-Eyed Scroteface."
This one is said to have eaten a whole tribe in the Andes.
Then carried the bones home to feed his family.
What a good bloke!
"The Gestapo Tarantulator".
I think he's named this because he only dines on other tarantulas.
Dickhead in Wollons should be fine then.
Unless he's a tarantula too!
Haha!
I am a funny c**t at times.
"The Jellied Organ Asphyxiator"
It looks like a dead branch but is actually a garden-based jellyfish.
Yep, thats right, one tendril-touch from this fella and you've got
roughly 12 seconds to scratch out your last will and testament.
"Dear Fucked of Wollo.."
"Armageddon On Stilts."
Went back to ask the zookeeper about this one.
Bloke crossed himself and fled into the night.
*photo deleted to spare mankind.
"The Flying Scrotum Magnet."
No ifs or buts about this one, he's going straight for the cock.
18 inches long, this fella is. That poor nutjob in Wollongong
has no show! Hahahaha.
"The Budgie Jitterbug RectalTrojan: Son of The Blackbacked CockPincer"
Neighbourhood budgies sing the blues when
this fella starts partying up their arses.
