Post by Sprague Dawley on Dec 26, 2016 19:04:36 GMT 9
Gidday and welcome to...
Gunston Tanks
I am your customer representative.
Trevor Gunston's the name.
This is not a tank, it's my ute and no, you can't bloody well have it.
Gunston Tanksforsale is a limited liability company dealing
in motorised agents of death, or, in your language, tanks.
We sell tanks and surplus military vehicles to:
•The defence industry.
•The porn industry
•The rich buggers
•The foreigners.
•The other assorted warmongering psychos.
We have a number of years experience in selling Military vehicles to customers worldwide.
Enquiries from overseas are welcome.
We offer a vehicle finding and brokerage service. You want the 1963 Panzar 211F?
We will find the thing, hiff out whatever dick is driving it and make it yours.
NO QUESTIONS ASKED.
GUNSTON GURANTEE.
Right then, al qaeda psychos, let's get down to business and have
a look at the fine array of tanks we have on offer for you today.
As you can see, this one's still parked up in downtown Cronulla.
This is not a tank, it's my ute and no, you can't bloody well have it.
Gunston Tanksforsale is a limited liability company dealing
in motorised agents of death, or, in your language, tanks.
We sell tanks and surplus military vehicles to:
•The defence industry.
•The porn industry
•The rich buggers
•The foreigners.
•The other assorted warmongering psychos.
We have a number of years experience in selling Military vehicles to customers worldwide.
Enquiries from overseas are welcome.
We offer a vehicle finding and brokerage service. You want the 1963 Panzar 211F?
We will find the thing, hiff out whatever dick is driving it and make it yours.
NO QUESTIONS ASKED.
GUNSTON GURANTEE.
Right then, al qaeda psychos, let's get down to business and have
a look at the fine array of tanks we have on offer for you today.
As you can see, this one's still parked up in downtown Cronulla.
Yours to pick up, $50,000,000 O.N.O.
Nevermind that smoke. Gene-o was having a bit of a fry-up indoors.
50,000 bucks for this one. It's somewhere in the Ukraine, you'll have to go and find the fucker.
Nevermind that smoke. Gene-o was having a bit of a fry-up indoors.
50,000 bucks for this one. It's somewhere in the Ukraine, you'll have to go and find the fucker.
Pay first.
Good luck hunting for the thing ya fuckin stupid commie psycho.
Team Gunston Aeroplane
$100 O.N.O
Pretty much a death trap.
Panzer TG 211
Bit of fire damage to this one, don't worry though, it'll wash right off. $200 o.n.o.
Don't worry about that kraut up there peeping through the wee hole either. We had him shot.
Throw in another 10 bucks and we'll chuck the dead kraut in too.
Authentic Patton T-28 Tank, as used in the war. This one runs
on diesel, 2 previous owners, both non-smokers, no pets.
400 million dollars. One of a kind.
SPONSOR
GUNSTON HALL.
THE #1 Hall to buy all your acid from.
GO GUNSTON.
GO HALL.
GO GUNSTON HALL.
DROP IN, TUNE ON, TURN IN.
SOMETHING LIKE THAT ANYWAY.
Coupla flat tires, apart from that this one is right as rain. Get the bike
pump onto it, bit of elbow grease and you'll be back up the front in no time.
300 million bucks. Pay up, Attila.
Yep, you can soon see why the you-know-who lost the you-know-what.
The can lids will pick up the footie reception with a bit of a twiddle though.
Team Gunston Aeroplane
$100 O.N.O
Pretty much a death trap.
Panzer TG 211
Bit of fire damage to this one, don't worry though, it'll wash right off. $200 o.n.o.
Don't worry about that kraut up there peeping through the wee hole either. We had him shot.
Throw in another 10 bucks and we'll chuck the dead kraut in too.
Authentic Patton T-28 Tank, as used in the war. This one runs
on diesel, 2 previous owners, both non-smokers, no pets.
400 million dollars. One of a kind.
SPONSOR
GUNSTON HALL.
THE #1 Hall to buy all your acid from.
GO GUNSTON.
GO HALL.
GO GUNSTON HALL.
DROP IN, TUNE ON, TURN IN.
SOMETHING LIKE THAT ANYWAY.
Coupla flat tires, apart from that this one is right as rain. Get the bike
pump onto it, bit of elbow grease and you'll be back up the front in no time.
300 million bucks. Pay up, Attila.
Yep, you can soon see why the you-know-who lost the you-know-what.
The can lids will pick up the footie reception with a bit of a twiddle though.
Propane gas tank, chimney works fine, she's as warm as toast indoors.
200 million krugerand.
SPONSOR
Oops, sorry, was playing a bit of open highway "chicken" with Gene-o.
200 million krugerand.
SPONSOR
Oops, sorry, was playing a bit of open highway "chicken" with Gene-o.
He was driving the tank, I was in the ute. His loss your gain. Another
pick-up, I'm afraid. You'll find this racey number on the Alice Springs
Highway, roughly 3,200 km's northwest of Woolongong.
$300 Australian dollars.
$300 Australian dollars.
And a bag of chips.
And maybe any nudee mags if you got em'.
Filthy cunt.
Yes, yes, I know. It's appalling. Absolutely fucking shocking. The gun turret is too bloody short!
Maybe you could tape an extension on or something. Take it down to your local blacksmith.
We'll cut you a deal on this one, $99,995.00 while stocks last.
312 or 342? Not a problem, Gene-o'll dab a bit of paint on there before you come in to collect it.
$350 million for this one. Hitler once pissed on it.
Those 3 wheels might look a bit small but they swell up. In the rain.
Righto, that's it, get in quick, these things are flying out the door.
Gunston Tanks, your #1 choice for bombing some poor bastard halfway to Sixpackistan and back.
- Trev.
Yes, yes, I know. It's appalling. Absolutely fucking shocking. The gun turret is too bloody short!
Maybe you could tape an extension on or something. Take it down to your local blacksmith.
We'll cut you a deal on this one, $99,995.00 while stocks last.
312 or 342? Not a problem, Gene-o'll dab a bit of paint on there before you come in to collect it.
$350 million for this one. Hitler once pissed on it.
Those 3 wheels might look a bit small but they swell up. In the rain.
Righto, that's it, get in quick, these things are flying out the door.
Gunston Tanks, your #1 choice for bombing some poor bastard halfway to Sixpackistan and back.
- Trev.