Post by Sprague Dawley on Dec 26, 2016 21:35:12 GMT 9
Wayne Gunston's Guide to $20 Words.
Gidday, tatterdemalion cunts!
Welcome to Wayne Gunston's Guide to $20 Words.
Me, Wayne, your favourite
lalochezian callipygous bastard.
I know all the $20 words. I bought
the whole fuckin lot for 50 bucks
at that garage sale on the weekend.
Now then, let's get down to business. How many $20 words do you know? Four? Sorry smartarse, but "supercilious" is no longer a $20 word. It's a $5 word at best. So now you only know three $20 words. Callipygous and two others.
Pathetic.
You thick bastard.
There's only so many times you, the aspiring writer, can drop "mellifluous", "callipygous" and that one other flash harry word into your stunted, shithouse prose before the ruse is well and truly up.
That's where I come in. Once your cheque's cleared, my Wayne Gunston's Guide to $20 Words will show you exactly where and when to use $20 words.
$695.99 for just 12 easy-to-follow instalments.
No layby. Stop fucking around and PAY NOW.
Here is just a brief sampler of what you can expect from Wayne Gunston's Guide to $20 Words.
* A refresher course on the $20 words you already know. Face it, you've already forgotten what "callipygous" means and you only found out about the fuckin stupid thing 3 bloody sentences ago. Stupid bastard. PAY NOW!
* An autographed strand of my lustrous hair. Use it as a bookmark. It's that bloody thick!
* Words.
* Sexually graphic passages.
* Pictures of $20 words.
Gunston InfoMercial
Not only will my Guide to $20 Words educate you about ALL the $20 words it will also "troubleshoot" those words that are often mistaken for being $20 words but are in fact NOT $20 words.
Here is a brief sample list of just some of the commonly mistaken $20 words as exposed by Wayne Gunston's Guide to $20 Words.
* Wheelbarrow (quite a long word, hence the confusion. NOT a $20 word)
* Elephant (elephants are big which makes people think the word is long and confusing but at a paltry 7 letters it's not overly long)
* Psychedelic (nothing about a hippie is worth $20 bucks)
Pay NOW to get the full list of NOT $20 words!
Just $850.99 in 8 easy instalments.
Operators are standing by!
"Thank you for shopping with Gunston & Gunston
now get off the fuckin line thank you next!"
That's it then, we're all done here, by stupidly clicking on that paypal logo above you've triggered an automatic payment, thanks for shopping with Gunston & Gunston, my fuckwit brother Wayne is coming over to your place right now in his ute with your stupid fuckhead book.
"Jesus, I wouldn't pay shit for this."
Righto.
--Wayne.