Post by Sprague Dawley on Dec 6, 2017 18:48:34 GMT 9
Hello all and welcome to The Botha Bushveld Safaris Brochure.
I'm Ost Botha, proud South African.
The more astute of you may have already noticed from my photograph above that I am white.
So first of all, as a white South African, I would like to take this opportunity to
apologise for the deplorable apawtheid system employed for so long in my homeland.
Apawtheid did not work very well as a segregation system proper and let this the public record
show that I have nothing against the blacks. For example, on the rugby pitch they are quick
and nimble and do a fantastic job playing on either the left or right wings.
Rightee-ho then.
On with the safari!
South Africa is a land blessed with a rich and bountiful harvest of natural goodness.
Together the people are unified in legislated racial harmony striving together arm in arm to
be all that they can be.
My friends, while I have your attention here, let me just reiterate my stance regarding the blacks.
They are a fine race with many redeeming qualities and I have no problems whatsoever
employing them and setting them to work on my cattle farm in Jo-burg under proper supervision.
And of course on the rugby paddock the little fellows glide with the grace of gazelles in the
positions best suited to their specific qualities.
On with the safari!
We start off the safari in the Orange Free State, home to some of the most beautiful beaches in the world.
And under the new regime of government-imposed equal opportunity the Orange Free State is freer than ever.
This state, this Orange Free State, it is truly a free state, a state where people can mix and work in hawmony.
Why, just last month I sent a little spade to the shops to purchase my buckshot and upon his
return, I did not even count the change in front of the cross-eyed little coon monkey!
Yes my friend, the price of freedom is alive in Orange Free State.
"What's that, Ost, you devilish bugger" you say to yourself.
"A 1970 Citroen SL?
What in the name of Joost van der Westhuizen does this automobile have to do with the safari?"
Surprise, surprise my wildebeest-slaying friends, for our choice of automobile for roaming the
high veldt is none other than the 1970 Citroen SL. Two in the front, two in the back!
You may not know this but Citroens are European automobiles, which incidentally is the home
continent of the Dutch, our graet, graet ancestors who settled in South Africa and instituted the
slightly flawed racial segregation programme known as "apawtheid"
My regawds to The Dutch.
Short interlude here. Something I have to get off my chest.
Just quietly, I am thinking of having the head of this fine fellow....
....mounted on the front of my Citroen.
How do you think this would look, my friends?
Is it a bit of a silly idea?
Let's get an awtists impression;-
My word, very impressive, I would be given the right of way at vehicular
thoroughfares pretty dashed quickly regawdless of the colour of any traffic lights!
By the way, let this the public ledger show that I am not one to pass
judgement on any traffic lights based on their colour.
All traffic lights are equal in my eyes.
Next stop on the safari, the glorious Sun City Hotel!
Oops, wrong slide. That's Soweto. We won't be going there.
Next stop, the glorious Sun City Hotel!
Just a word of warning, the hotel does have in their employ some little coloured
bellboys who can be a bit cheeky now and then. As on the rugby pitch, discipline
is of the utmost importance to a unified, racially harmonious safari. If any little
beggars infringe around your ruck and maul area they need to be dealt with and
dealt with quickly and severely regawdless of colour, race, creed or colour.
In no way am I advocating rucking the bleck children in the face, neck, head or cheek area
but if they are in the prone position and impeding the flow of quick ball, I mean giving lip while
carrying your bags, then by all means spare no amount of the boot.
Ahhh, what a fantastic sight to see. The beasts cohabitating side by side in racial harmony.
Nurturing and treasuring each other just as we do in the New Republic.
It almost seems a shame to drive past in my Citroen and shoot them in the face.