Post by Sprague Dawley on Dec 7, 2017 9:20:50 GMT 9
came across this old one from Flotters
too much noise
wake up at 8 o' clock to the roar of the tyrannosaurus rex the next door neighbours have employed to help them build their new house. shut the windows and stuff tissues in my ears and get back to sleep.
at 9 o' clock the phone rings. the lady, one nakamura, tells me i haven't paid my taxes. well I still won't have paid them at 12. disconnect the phone and go back to bed.
10 o' clock and some guy drives past announcing he'll take my tv for free. he says this in a way that sounds like he's planning to do me a service. where i come from, that's called larceny.
10:30 and it's the turn of the doorbell. it's the friendly local nhk man. he wants money in return for me having a tv in the first place. i go off to get my wallet and turn the interphone off and go back to bed.
11 o' clock and another guy drives past, this time selling poles. what do i need with more poles? it's hard enough keeping the ones i've got clothed and fed.
12:30 and it's time for edelweiss. the town hall has speakers just for this purpose. everyone stops work and looks longingly accross the border to austria. we fight back a tear or two, then bite our lips and get back to work, or in my case, bed.
2 o' clock and someone drives up hoping to sell mochi. he hangs around for a few minutes trying to lure me out with some inedible stretchy rice. then he circles the block. i can hear him go round and come back. he stops again, singing about his delicious mochi. finally my stealthy hiding place convinces him to go persecute someone else.
3 o' clock and the newspaper man. he knows i turn off the doorbell so he comes straight round to the bedroom and bangs on the window. "i paid your money to the nhk man by mistake" i tell him. "you said that last month". "your newspaper's shit and i don't want it anymore." he gets out his pad and scribbles something down. "if you don't pay i don't get my salary" he tells me. i go sleep in the bath.
5 o' clock and two of the local kids want to walk their dog with me. "at this time of night?" i ask, but they brought the mangy thing with them. i pull on a shirt and we set off. i flick sleep at the mutt when the kids aren't looking, and hold a smoke up in the palm of my hand, florence style. at the 7/11 i get a can of beer and drink it in the bag calling it a "genki drink".
when we get back, the kids run off then stop. they turn around and call out "sayonara!". then disappear down the street. silence. grey carpets roll out across the sky. the road is wet. slowly i tune into the sound of the highway. car after muffled car driving away from here. leaving.
i head in. i want to get all these noisy guys together for a drink. all of us at the local shirokiya. the nhk man, the tax collector, the mangy mutt, the mochi man. then put them in a taxi and point the driver to the highway. "keep going to the horizon, then turn left."
wake up at 8 o' clock to the roar of the tyrannosaurus rex the next door neighbours have employed to help them build their new house. shut the windows and stuff tissues in my ears and get back to sleep.
at 9 o' clock the phone rings. the lady, one nakamura, tells me i haven't paid my taxes. well I still won't have paid them at 12. disconnect the phone and go back to bed.
10 o' clock and some guy drives past announcing he'll take my tv for free. he says this in a way that sounds like he's planning to do me a service. where i come from, that's called larceny.
10:30 and it's the turn of the doorbell. it's the friendly local nhk man. he wants money in return for me having a tv in the first place. i go off to get my wallet and turn the interphone off and go back to bed.
11 o' clock and another guy drives past, this time selling poles. what do i need with more poles? it's hard enough keeping the ones i've got clothed and fed.
12:30 and it's time for edelweiss. the town hall has speakers just for this purpose. everyone stops work and looks longingly accross the border to austria. we fight back a tear or two, then bite our lips and get back to work, or in my case, bed.
2 o' clock and someone drives up hoping to sell mochi. he hangs around for a few minutes trying to lure me out with some inedible stretchy rice. then he circles the block. i can hear him go round and come back. he stops again, singing about his delicious mochi. finally my stealthy hiding place convinces him to go persecute someone else.
3 o' clock and the newspaper man. he knows i turn off the doorbell so he comes straight round to the bedroom and bangs on the window. "i paid your money to the nhk man by mistake" i tell him. "you said that last month". "your newspaper's shit and i don't want it anymore." he gets out his pad and scribbles something down. "if you don't pay i don't get my salary" he tells me. i go sleep in the bath.
5 o' clock and two of the local kids want to walk their dog with me. "at this time of night?" i ask, but they brought the mangy thing with them. i pull on a shirt and we set off. i flick sleep at the mutt when the kids aren't looking, and hold a smoke up in the palm of my hand, florence style. at the 7/11 i get a can of beer and drink it in the bag calling it a "genki drink".
when we get back, the kids run off then stop. they turn around and call out "sayonara!". then disappear down the street. silence. grey carpets roll out across the sky. the road is wet. slowly i tune into the sound of the highway. car after muffled car driving away from here. leaving.
i head in. i want to get all these noisy guys together for a drink. all of us at the local shirokiya. the nhk man, the tax collector, the mangy mutt, the mochi man. then put them in a taxi and point the driver to the highway. "keep going to the horizon, then turn left."