Post by Sprague Dawley on Jun 8, 2019 18:52:06 GMT 9
HBO To Fund Miniseries Dramatisation On The Day TJ Went Thermonuclear
--HBO--
Following today's cataclysmic thermonuclear meltdown, the epicentre of which was believed to be the New Tinpot Lancaster Park rugby stadium in Christchurch, New Zealand, HBO have declared they will "break the bank" to fund a mini-series dramatisation of this epochal event.
The seismic event occurred at the climax of the Crusaders versus Rebels rugby football match,"Never before has a human being achieved nuclear fission and triggered an actual nuclear meltdown" said a gobsmacked HBO executive. "We believe his name is 'TJ' but we are still trying to fish him out of the remains of his irradiated commentary booth. Miraculously, he survived the event due to the copious amounts of semen he'd expunged all over the place which formed a sort of anti-nuclear coating all over his body. Who knew."
TJ's booth: somewhere down there.
"By halftime TJ was actually glowing and hot to the touch" said co-commentator and shriekingly annoying fucktard Justin Marshrill. "Then once Crotty dinged over the conversion to his own try to make it 66-0 I remember the final whistle sounding then everything went black."
The HBO executive went on to say "we've made the executive decision to use the actual New Zealand accents even though they are largely unintelligible to the outside world. What? No. Fuck no. No chance. Zero. Justin Marshall will NOT be taking any part whatsoever in production and will receive no mention AT ALL during any part of the series. Let me make that very clear. That is in fact our primary objective for the entire making of the series. To whitewash his place in rugby commentary history. In fact, we will be spending the majority of our budget sourcing advice from 1980's KGB officers as to how to do this with maximum efficiency. No more questions, you fucking arsehole."
--HBO--
Following today's cataclysmic thermonuclear meltdown, the epicentre of which was believed to be the New Tinpot Lancaster Park rugby stadium in Christchurch, New Zealand, HBO have declared they will "break the bank" to fund a mini-series dramatisation of this epochal event.
The seismic event occurred at the climax of the Crusaders versus Rebels rugby football match,"Never before has a human being achieved nuclear fission and triggered an actual nuclear meltdown" said a gobsmacked HBO executive. "We believe his name is 'TJ' but we are still trying to fish him out of the remains of his irradiated commentary booth. Miraculously, he survived the event due to the copious amounts of semen he'd expunged all over the place which formed a sort of anti-nuclear coating all over his body. Who knew."
TJ's booth: somewhere down there.
"By halftime TJ was actually glowing and hot to the touch" said co-commentator and shriekingly annoying fucktard Justin Marshrill. "Then once Crotty dinged over the conversion to his own try to make it 66-0 I remember the final whistle sounding then everything went black."
The HBO executive went on to say "we've made the executive decision to use the actual New Zealand accents even though they are largely unintelligible to the outside world. What? No. Fuck no. No chance. Zero. Justin Marshall will NOT be taking any part whatsoever in production and will receive no mention AT ALL during any part of the series. Let me make that very clear. That is in fact our primary objective for the entire making of the series. To whitewash his place in rugby commentary history. In fact, we will be spending the majority of our budget sourcing advice from 1980's KGB officers as to how to do this with maximum efficiency. No more questions, you fucking arsehole."