Post by Sprague Dawley on May 2, 2020 11:25:03 GMT 9
Japanese Prime Minister Spends Entire Day Searching For Bridge High Enough To Jump Off.
--Japan Today--
Reports have filtered through that Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe spent all day yesterday searching for a bridge high enough to jump off. "A bridge high enough that would ensure a quick and certain death if I were to jump from it."
"This safety-first surgical health mask will ensure I
don't catch the ching-chong virus just before I die."
"I departed my Imperial Residence (in background) in search of a high enough bridge from which to throw myself off to guarantee a quick death. However, unfortunately, all my local bridges are too low to promise a certain death. The bridges in my neighbourhood are Japanese therefore they are artistic and well-constructed but they are all regrettably low" continued Prime Minister Abe "However, I did not give up. I displayed the Japanese spirit of my forefathers and continued my search long into the night for a high enough bridge from which to leap to my death. Sadly, I have yet to find a suitable bridge."
"Fucking stupid dwarf bridges."
--Japan Today--
Reports have filtered through that Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe spent all day yesterday searching for a bridge high enough to jump off. "A bridge high enough that would ensure a quick and certain death if I were to jump from it."
"This safety-first surgical health mask will ensure I
don't catch the ching-chong virus just before I die."
"I departed my Imperial Residence (in background) in search of a high enough bridge from which to throw myself off to guarantee a quick death. However, unfortunately, all my local bridges are too low to promise a certain death. The bridges in my neighbourhood are Japanese therefore they are artistic and well-constructed but they are all regrettably low" continued Prime Minister Abe "However, I did not give up. I displayed the Japanese spirit of my forefathers and continued my search long into the night for a high enough bridge from which to leap to my death. Sadly, I have yet to find a suitable bridge."
"Fucking stupid dwarf bridges."