Post by Sprague Dawley on Jul 4, 2011 16:51:02 GMT 9
Arsenal player suffers ruptured anus.
-- Telegraph--
An Arsenal player has been placed on the injured list after suffering
from what doctors are referring to as a "fully blown-out anus".
An Arsenal player (on the right) seen here "accidentally"
having his anus torn asunder by a teammate.
"In laymans terms, this is a full bumcrack rupture of the poo hole that connects the arse cavity to the arse hole area" said the Arsenal team doctor, Dr Arsene McArseyarse.
The injury occurred during a collision in the rear. "It was just one of those random bumrooting moments that happens a dozen times during any soccer match" continued the team doctor. "Unfortunately, as passions run high amongst groups of young Arsenal men, most of whom are homosexuals, all wearing their attractive silky colourful togs, naturally, stiffies do occur from time to time and yes, they do occasionally get stuck up young boys bumcracks."
The injured player (who wished to remain anonymous - pictured above) said "at first I felt this deliciously excruciating pindick stabbing feeling in my arsehole, which in itself is not an unusual or unknown sensation for me.... but my teammate must've caught me at an awkward angle and now I have to ring home and tell my mum that I have a ruptured anus. Oh well, nothing she hasn't heard before."
-- Telegraph--
An Arsenal player has been placed on the injured list after suffering
from what doctors are referring to as a "fully blown-out anus".
An Arsenal player (on the right) seen here "accidentally"
having his anus torn asunder by a teammate.
"In laymans terms, this is a full bumcrack rupture of the poo hole that connects the arse cavity to the arse hole area" said the Arsenal team doctor, Dr Arsene McArseyarse.
The injury occurred during a collision in the rear. "It was just one of those random bumrooting moments that happens a dozen times during any soccer match" continued the team doctor. "Unfortunately, as passions run high amongst groups of young Arsenal men, most of whom are homosexuals, all wearing their attractive silky colourful togs, naturally, stiffies do occur from time to time and yes, they do occasionally get stuck up young boys bumcracks."
The injured player (who wished to remain anonymous - pictured above) said "at first I felt this deliciously excruciating pindick stabbing feeling in my arsehole, which in itself is not an unusual or unknown sensation for me.... but my teammate must've caught me at an awkward angle and now I have to ring home and tell my mum that I have a ruptured anus. Oh well, nothing she hasn't heard before."
