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Post by thedonald on Feb 4, 2017 4:40:00 GMT 9
Contrary to popular belief, my syphilitic brain is not addled. I am capable of Twittering and signing my name. Any complaints, of course, should be sent to BBB America. I am busy signing my name to any damn thing that comes across my desk. I need an escort, though. My "elbow" isn't working properly. Help me! Help me!!
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Post by thedonald on Feb 6, 2017 7:47:02 GMT 9
Being president has nothing to do with the air pressure between my ears, and my friend, Vlad (The Inhaler) Putin, will not be able run against me so I am good for another week at least.
So today’s "championship" game won’t be about New England Patriots or Atlanta Falcons. It is about me.
As the Patriots seek their fifth N.F.L. championship, controlling the explosive Falcons — who are looking for their first title — will be enough of a challenge for Americans, but not for me. I have dispatched all kinds of folks trained up in the ways of Nixon's plumbers. The game is a sideshow. I will sign a few more "papers" and a few hundred million more Americans will be cheering while their rights are curtailed to the advantage of my friends elsewhere. First to benefit is Sir Wanksalot. Yes, he becomes King of Hawaii in a few hours. Get the ukes ready! Party time soon!!!
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Post by thedonald on Feb 18, 2017 6:19:12 GMT 9
My beautiful hands are only getting stronger. You can pay me later for this advice. In fact, you WILL pay later for this advice: www.hanon-online.com/
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Post by thedonald on Mar 10, 2017 23:02:11 GMT 9
Impeachment. Long ago, when I had a cock, I used to worry about such matters. These days, I let "working class hobbits" worry about stupid things like that. I don't know what they would worry about without me around. Vlad just called. I have to go. I know who butters my bread. It's a secure line. The FBI is not tapping it yet. Have to stay ahead of those guys. They have a lot of free time on their hands.
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Post by thedonald on Mar 11, 2017 23:23:53 GMT 9
I puzzled over the definition of "capitalism" for hours this morning as my cock was worked on by a team of "experts" who had beautiful hands. Anyway, I came up with the idea that in capitalism man exploits man. When one of my minions tried to stump me with a question about the definition of "communism", I turned the tables on her very quickly. I shot back with "It's the opposite of capitalism". She was, of course, speechless at my intelligence. Huge day for me. I am weening myself off twittering and art movies. My comebacks have, obviously, improved tremendously with less twittering and art movies. Stand-up comedy is my retirement project, of course. I have a lot of ideas. Some are jokes, even. I am writing them down on the sly so that my minions won't know what hit them.
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Post by thedonald on Apr 21, 2017 17:44:15 GMT 9
The hummer of all hummers. Wait, no, the blow job of individual liberty. No, wait. Uh, I can't think. I never think; and therefore, I never doubt. Doubtless, I will preside over these grounds and watch them each day until I am picked up by my old Russian/Czech/Slovak pals for a "business" trip to Thailand. Yes!!!!
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Post by thedonald on Apr 21, 2017 17:50:04 GMT 9
Apr 18, 2017 19:10:46 GMT -4 Sprague Dawley said:
Local Despot Has Failed Family Crest Maker Melted Down And Sprayed Onto Failed Family Crest.
--NY Times--
A local despot, disappointed with a family crest that was lovingly hand-crafted for him over the course of the last 3 years, has had the craftsman responsible for the off-colour artwork melted down and sprayed directly onto the crest.
“I ORDERED GOLD. NOT FUCKING YELLOW.”
“If I wanted fucking yellow I would have asked for fucking yellow” sneered the vicious despot. “Keep it? No, I’m not going to fucking keep it. It’s not gold. Like I fucking asked for. The dogs seem to like licking it, perhaps they can smell something on it that I cannot. I’ll mount the yellow piece of shit in the servants quarters, to serve as a daily reminder to those gay black faggots down there as to what will happen if they fuck up too.”
“Yellow? I piss on yellow.”
“Now? What am I doing right now? Obviously, I’m pissing all over this fucking servant that I’ve just kicked unconscious, that’s what I’m doing right fucking now. Cameras still rolling? ROLL ON, SONY MOTHERFUCKERS.”
I have always been a fan of huge poetry related to family crests. Obviously, I have GOLD hair for a reason.
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Post by thedonald on Apr 21, 2017 17:55:22 GMT 9
I invented George Lucas. The rest is history. I put the "me" in America. The rest is history. I built Trumporno Land. The rest is history.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on Apr 22, 2017 21:42:22 GMT 9
cannot wait until Dear Leader bombs my nuts halfway back to the fucken Stone Age.
slingshot those kiln-baked little cunts halfway around the Cape of Good Cock and back for all I fucken care.
LETS DO IT U FAT FUCK
as Distressed Genocide wised me up to the Watery Love, UNLIKE YOU DICKHEADS I WELOCME DETH.
once Porcupine Brain has done testing his DieDong Mk 1 all over Japan's collective groin gristles, its a quick spray all over the filthy capitalist gooksphere over the Korean border then on to JesusLand to fuck their shit up with a biblical smiting all up and down the Rust Belt I mean Isotope Belt haha SO LUNG SUCKAZZ
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Post by thedonald on Apr 25, 2017 2:33:17 GMT 9
cannot wait until Dear Leader bombs my nuts halfway back to the fucken Stone Age. slingshot those kiln-baked little cunts halfway around the Cape of Good Cock and back for all I fucken care. LETS DO IT U FAT FUCK as Distressed Genocide wised me up to the Watery Love, UNLIKE YOU DICKHEADS I WELOCME DETH. once Porcupine Brain has done testing his DieDong Mk 1 all over Japan's collective groin gristles, its a quick spray all over the filthy capitalist gooksphere over the Korean border then on to JesusLand to fuck their shit up with a biblical smiting all up and down the Rust Belt I mean Isotope Belt haha SO LUNG SUCKAZZ I have 100 senators over today to make the above dream come true. Hold on! I will get us ready for smiting. Never fear a man with GOLD hair!! I am death on Viagra.
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Post by thedonald on Apr 27, 2017 5:01:21 GMT 9
100 days. On report.
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Post by thedonald on May 6, 2017 4:44:50 GMT 9
My head is full of straw. My "donald" is full of straw. My past is full of straw. Your future is Goober and The Peas, which involves a lot of straw. Now, kindly bugger off and gamble away your lives at casino bearing my name.
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Post by Sprague Dawley on May 7, 2017 9:34:41 GMT 9
haha, just googled this...
....and someone else has already googled it.
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Post by thedonald on May 7, 2017 11:31:22 GMT 9
haha, just googled this...
....and someone else has already googled it.
Let me introduce myself, as you may know me from Google. My name is Donald J. Trump.
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Post by thedonald on May 12, 2017 21:27:49 GMT 9
So I have a couple of crystal balls that I play with from time to time. Last night I used them to talk to Nobel laureate Elie Wiesel. He assured me that I am on the right track and will get the job done correctly soon enough. I hate to say this but Elie seems to have had some problems with his speech since his death. He kept adding "s.s." to things like he has a speech impediment. "You are like the 's.s.' super evil gang of four band leader so all will be fine until it isn't like it was with the 's.s.' savage band of evildoers so many years ago." He'd never heard of Comey so I fired Comey again for some other reason. Firing Comey should be a daily occurence.
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